Saturday, July 19, 2008

Some people say they make great pets - part 1

I was going to write something about the 3 dogs we transported from the airport to Toronto Animal Services yesterday but instead, because I'm sitting here tired, stinky and waiting for the Advil to kick in, I'm going to write about what happened later in the evening. It's got nothing much to do with rescue volunteering other than it concerns the two monster numbskulls I rescued who now occupy my house and who nearly drove me out of it last night. But hey, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Every night before I go to sleep I rouse Stella and Rocky from their comfy, multi-layer, princess and the pea approved dog beds and make them go outside for a final goodnight pee in the backyard. Rocky's always up for a quick dash to the backyard but Stella groans and moans like it's the most inconvenient thing in the world I'm asking her to do. Usually, I have to resort to shoving her ass out of bed before she'll even acknowledge I'm talking to her.

Rocky's already outside while Stella slowly rises, stretches, shakes her floppy ears as if to clear her floppy head and slowly trundles to the open patio doors and goes out. That's the nightly routine.

I stand in the kitchen doing a few dishes while I wait for them to finish their business. A minute later Rocky scurries back in, a little quicker than usual but I think it's because he wants to beat Stella to the prime bed (yes, they race each other for the best bed) because now here comes Stella running up the stairs as well. But then she stops. Instead of coming in, she starts to rub her face on the towel covering the doggie bed outside on the patio. She's snorting and sneezing and I'm thinking she's breathed in some dust or dandelion seeds or something. Twenty seconds later she's still rubbing her face. Now that's odd and I'm getting a little concerned so I go to the patio door and check up on her. As soon as I step out, I smell something, not overwhelming, but definitely not part of the normal neighbouthood night scents. It's like someone's burning chemical waste in the vicinity.

I walk over to Stella. She's still snarfling with the towel and there's a lot of drool coming out of her mouth. I'm suddenly panicked thinking that maybe someone's thrown some solvent or something into my backyard and Stella's gotten into it but through my panic, even as I'm trying to wipe off whatever it is on Stella's face, I'm thinking it might be something else. And now I notice that the smell is getting really strong.

I run upstairs and wake Elizabeth up. By now, the scent is in the house.

"Can you smell that?" I ask.

She nods.

"Is it skunk? It doesn't smell like skunk," I say.

"No, that's skunk." Elizabeth would know. Her dog once got sprayed and she had to drive home with him afterwards in a snowstorm. With the windows rolled up. "That's the way it smells."

"It's like some chemical."

"Yeah, that's the way it smells at first. Tomorrow, it'll smell like skunk."

I'm actually relieved because it's not solvent; skunk juice isn't going to do any huge damage.

Then I remember Rocky - how he ran past me when I was in the kitchen standing over a bunch of sudsy dishes that smelled like melon scented dishwashing liquid, how that fruity chemical scent may have covered up another chemical scent that had just rushed past.

I run downstairs. Rocky is blinking like mad, drooling and rubbing himself over every piece of furniture and carpeting in the living room. He looks up at me with watery, crazy eyes and dives down again, plowing his muzzle into the sofa cushions.

And now Stella comes charging in. She nose dives into the prime doggie bed, plows it over, nose dives into the second doggie bed, rubs her muzzle along it until she hits the wooden floor, keeps rubbing.


Stella must be thinking I'm screaming at her friend the invisible Stella who often comes to visit whenever the real Stella gets in trouble because she pays no heed to me and heads for the armchair. Meanwhile, Rocky's finished plowing along the length of the thick plush runner and is starting to get intimate with the love seat.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" I scream.

It was going to be a long night.

To be continued ...


Caveat said...

Ha ha ha! I'm not laughing at the situation but at the hilarious way you've shared it.

Methinks you'll be picking up a large container of Nok-Out today, one of the few things that really works. Global Ryan's carries it.

Fred said...

I've got Nok-Out, NilOdor and something else - can't remember what off the top of my head. The combination of the three may result in the formation of some type of toxic nerve gas but then at least I won't have to smell the stink anymore.